Millions of Americans have done it. Maybe they saw the late-night infomercial. Perhaps they were enraptured by the in-store salesperson at Costco. They might have been invigorated by a health magazine or co-worker. Whatever the source of the inspiration, they have all had a common mission: buy a juicer and make healthy beverages.
Once someone–particularly a parent–owns an appliance that can pulverize fruits and vegetables, that person wields transformative power. The vibrant hues of oranges and reds, the deep greens of vegetables, and the brightness of fresh foods are pulverized into a unidentifiable sickly brownish-green. With the myriad of supplemental powders and vitamins available, the modest utility becomes akin to the cauldron used the witches in Macbeth.
Author’s warning: Should anyone creating a blended drink utter: “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and caldron bubble” quickly run away and do not consume whatever is being prepared or let it touch your skin.
While many smoothie makers know that with great power comes great responsibility. Many smoothie consumers are unfamiliar with an important correlating principle–what has been cited as the First Rule of the Smoothie Club:
Never ask what is in the smoothie.
Ignorance, in this case is bliss. The commonly-accepted practice is to close one’s eyes and not sniff deeply while drinking. Don’t consider that the beverage you’re about to consume looks Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear have been liquified. Focus on the undeniable fact that you are about to efficiently ingest more servings of vegetables, fruits, and healthy nutrients than you could have possibly imagined were the foods laid out before you in their whole and purest form.
To be firm on this point, the first rule of Smoothie Club: Never ask what is in the smoothie.
Why is this rule so critical? If the smoothie consumer asks, then it is required under Article XII Section 4 of the 1998 North American Smoothie Maker Guidelines that: “All contents of Beverage must be disclosed in full. Ingredients must be listed, citing their health benefits and the impact the foods have had on reducing unused Produce in the Refrigerator.”
Therefore, the response of the smoothie maker may sound something like the following:
Double, double toil and trouble;
Blender turn and lid a-bubble.
Carrots and a parsley top,
In the blender chop and lop,
Half a pear and a cooked yam,
Protein powder from a can,
Vitamins of C and D,
A few tops of celery.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Blender turn and lid a-bubble.
So to all smoothie consumers, I adjure you: Never ask what is in the smoothie. Instead, drink up and be the healthier for it.
Mind Furniture 